koipond: Illustration of Rache Batrmoss with a cigarette coming out of his mouth. (Default)
[personal profile] koipond
So I've been sitting around working on relationship stuff and over the course of many conversations, which aren't always the easiest thing for me to do, it's come to light that I wasn't doing as much work as I'd like to think.

This may come as a shock to some people, especially those that have been around to hear me talk, but when it comes to actually discussing what I'm feeling I have to be 100% comfortable or else I'm not saying anything about what I'm feeling right then. I'll talk about past mistakes, I'll wax eloquently on the future and the past but anything happens and the present and my words are, "Nothing's Wrong."

That's why I ended up picking up that book from the library literally called Nothing's Wrong. I read it, and I've now decided that for the net little bit I'm probably going to be reading more like it. That's not to say the book was perfect, it did get a little condescending at times but that might be because they were talking about things that I got, there is a section that talks about feelings and feminism in that 'this is a good thing despite what you hear from the media,' so I don't feel that I was their target audience. Despite that, what the book was saying in general was rather helpful.

Value based judgemen: *** out of a starlit sky.

I also just finished The Dance of Connection by Dr. Harriett Learner. This is a book that I recommend to anyone trying to learn to communicate when the last thing in the world you want to do right then is communicate. She talks about making sure that you stick to talking about yourself in the conversation and staying true to your own voice. There are a couple of sections that talked about talking because you need to talk about your feelings because you can't expect an apology because you won't get one. Where you need to stand firm and where you need to think about things. All in all, it was an enjoyable experience.

Value based judgement: ~~~~~ with a disqualification of the American Judge.

I tried to get into How Not to Take It Personally by Vera N. Held. I figured why not because it was in the same vein as what I was reading, but it didn't really speak to me. Maybe it was that it had covered in The Dance of Communication, maybe the text didn't speak to me. I would suggest some people to check it out, there are some pretty awesome people who do recommend this book, for me the most notable being Barbara Coloroso of Kids are Worth It! fame, but it just wasn't jiving for me.

Value based judgement: !!~~!11eleventy for those who might like it.

The fourth book this week that I tried to get through was How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It. However, the essentialism was painful. When the Author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus gives the book a thumbs up I want to look elsewhere. Also, one of the taglines on the back that says, "You'll never get a closer relationship with your man by talking to him like you talk to one of your girlfriend."

That's right folks, communication doesn't work. You've just gotta fuck him into submission. Seriously, skimming the book it was all about how the ladeez can appease yo man! I kid you not. Chapter three is "The Silent Male, What He's Thinking and Feeling" and Chapter four is "The Worst Thing a Woman Does To A Man." Needless to say this book is going back to the library toute suite.

Value based judgement: =p followed by a =X followed by an arena chant of "Hey, Hey, Hey, Goodbye!"
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koipond: Illustration of Rache Batrmoss with a cigarette coming out of his mouth. (Default)

June 2010

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